You're not imagining it: the workplace these days is rife with snakes. Some studies estimate 20 to 30 percent of corporate leaders exhibit narcissistic or sociopathic traits, and the numbers are growing. What do you do when faced with such a leader or colleague? According to YouTube, the first step is to understand what type of devil you're dealing with. Is he (or she) a constant critic? A screaming mimi? Or perhaps just a poor soul suffering from a personality disorder ... but which one, and which subtype?
Much as we love typologies, we believe this is one case where they're not helpful. While understanding seems like one of those "more is always better" things, understanding harder won't change an abuser. Trying to identify their type, then match your behavior to that type, is an exercise in futility. And diagnosis is best left to the professionals.
We think J.K. Rowling had the best all-purpose name for these serious threats to your mental health: dementors. And we agree with her that, when faced with a dementor, there are only two steps to take: 1) Spot them. 2) Protect your mind, body, and spirit from them.
How to do it? That's the topic of this week's Mindfalls newsletter.
by Jocelyn Davis
Every day for two years after I was half-fired from my executive position at a consulting firm, I spent a good chunk of time thinking about my ex-bosses Jim and Alex.
I say “half-fired” because I’d tried to quit. On January 30, 2013, at 7 am my time, I sent a very professional resignation letter to Alex, my immediate manager. He asked me to dial into our regularly scheduled 9 am call, which I duly did, expecting a stiff-but-cordial farewell, only to find myself on the line with Alex, CEO Jim, and a frosty-voiced lawyer named Summer. The two men stayed silent throughout the 10 minutes it took for Summer to inform me that my polite offer to stay on for a month to ensure a smooth transition was rejected, because, as of that moment, my services were no longer required.
“This was to have been a termination call,” Summer said, biting off each word like a hangnail.
Translation: “You can’t resign, we’re firing you.”
Jocelyn Davis writes books about leadership, history and literature, and mental health. Learn more at JocelynRDavis.com.
LEAVE WHILE THE PARTY’S STILL FUN
The Art of Quiet Influence is my bestselling book by far. Why? Mainly because it’s distributed by Hachette, one of the so-called Big Five publishers, whose channel muscle is Schwarzenegger-esque. But distribution isn’t everything: The Greats on Leadership is also published by Hachette, yet it has only one-third of the sales of Quiet Influence.
My untestable hypothesis is that a book sells well when the title makes you go, “I want some of that.” Don’t you want some quiet influence? I sure do. Writerly tip: Give your book or article a title that suggests something people would like to have, do, or feel.
This week’s excerpt is from the last chapter, in which a 14th-century Islamic philosopher and I discuss facing off against bullies, discerning when it’s time to leave, and the art of the graceful exit. Leaderly tip: Don’t follow my example! –Jocelyn
My parents had a long career in the US Foreign Service. A big part of diplomatic life is parties—dinner parties, cocktail parties, pool parties, all kinds of parties—which sounds like great fun, until you consider that every such event is non-optional.
At any rate, my parents knew parties. And here’s their advice:
Always leave a party while it’s still fun.
Whenever I’ve followed this advice, I’ve not regretted it. Many a night, having exited the college beer-fest or post-dinner corporate revelries, walking down silent corridors back to my dorm or hotel room, I’ve been seized with fear of missing out. Why did I leave so soon?
But next morning, I would hear about the person who’d passed out next to the trash cans or the two colleagues who’d had a bitter argument, or (most typically) I’d ask someone with a wan face how the rest of the evening had turned out and get, “Oh … we had a few more drinks. That’s about it.” And I would be glad I’d left when I did.
Employee accuses boss of mocking her tears after months of workplace harassment: 'I feel beyond disgusted.'
A young employee at a multinational company has accused her manager of sustained workplace harassment and public humiliation after he allegedly mocked her for crying during a performance review. In a Reddit post, she claimed the manager repeatedly fixated on a minor incident for months, ignored her work, and later ridiculed her in front of colleagues at a social event, using degrading language.
Top Workplace Discrimination Cases for Lawyers to Track in 2026
In 2026, courts are expected to clarify key workplace discrimination issues, including religious accommodation requests, DEI-related hostile work environment claims, and the scope of gender-based harassment protections. Several high-profile cases may reshape legal standards for proving discrimination and determine how far MeToo-era laws extend beyond traditional sexual misconduct claims.
Video: "You escaped the narcissist—so why don't you feel better yet?" Dr. Ramani takes 10 minutes to explain why the hurt continues after you leave an abuser's sphere of influence, and why distraction isn't the same as recovery.
Website: Workplace Bullying Institute. This comprehensive site offers support, education, solutions, and advocacy for targets of "the only form of abuse in America that is not yet taboo." You'll find tactical, research-based information on everything from documenting abuse to involving HR, from protecting your mental health to knowing when you might have a case in law.
Book: Beating the Workplace Bully, by Lynn Curry. This is the book I wish I'd had when I was going through it with dementors Jim and Alex. Curry takes a practical approach but also offers helpful insights on the "why" of it all. Right now the Kindle edition is on sale for $2.99.
Video interview: "The best way to deal with narcissists without arguing." Mel Robbins, bestselling author of Let Them (hmm, we could do a whole issue on that book!) and Dr. Ramani talk strategy: how to keep cool when a narcissist has you riled up, how to stop feeding them and start feeding yourself, and much more.
Book: The Art of Quiet Influence, by Jocelyn Davis, aka me. If you really want to learn how to build soft power, outshine loudmouths, and triumph over tyrants, this is the book to get—if I do say so myself. "Timeless wisdom for leading without authority." It's all here.
The Mindfalls newsletter is for informational purposes and is not a substitute for professional help. If you are having a mental health crisis, call or text the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, reach out to your doctor, or go to the nearest emergency room.